May 2012
65 posts
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Truth or Dare
Confession; I like to pretend like I am having conversations with my idols. Sometimes I call it the manifestation of the collective conscious in my head, sometimes I think of it as the classic brazen head metaphor. Either way it keeps me amused.
Yesterday while researching my current project I found a quote from J.K. Rowling that made me realize that she was worthy of inclusion in my metaphorical...
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The Farce is the Flux of the Flow of the Force...
Dear Eddie,
Given the previous lack of response, I hope that you are still willing to indulge in our conversation a little further. Trusting that if I did not have a vital point to make I wouldn’t even be wasting the keystrokes required to type this missive. And that yes, as Auntie Bonnie reminds me, I really do appreciate your time in communicating with me.
In response to my original proposal...
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Dear Auntie Bonnie,
I am about to send another message to Eddie and I wanted to make sure that it is written with the greatest humour and no insult is meant towards you.
As you are well aware I treasure your experienced author’s insight into what I am doing. However, I am also starving, borrowing money to pay bills, when what I really need is an advance so that I can go out and catch up on the necessities...
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Shitler’s List
The professional mental ass-ass-in or shitman or a silent killer of thoughts. They exist in a state of war which is fought by keeping one’s thoughts still in order to remove the disturbances which keep one from accessing their visual memory cortex.
An excellent metaphor for this is Narcissus, who so enamored with their own thoughts drowns in the mindstream of their own consciousness o.k.a. Having...
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The Neo Litany of Serenity Against Fear
I grant myself the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
I must not fear living one day at a time; fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
Enjoying one moment at a time I will face my fear.
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace, I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see...
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Current pet peeve; when I tell people I’m going to...
(Best contemplated to “Hush” by Bedouin Soundclash.)
Props and shouts to M.E. for appreciating my use of “speculative fiction” to describe my work.
You know, of course, this means war.
“I smell ink!” – The Rum Diaries
“Thomas Tipp was right: People will read again.” – Vanilla Sky
What’s up, Paradox?
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Those who have tried to replace my mother over the...
Imaginate if you would that the following story is being read in Garrison Keelor’s dulcet tones, except that instead of being about Lake Wobegon, it’s about my hometown; Ghor’s Bay on an Isle called Manitoolin. So any relation to actual events is purely in my image nation and not meant to reflect any reality or actuality.
Have you ever felt like you were a recurring character in other people’s...
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It Is Said That Every Great Sword Has a Soul
(Best contemplated to “Lemming” by Melys”)
“Back then I was flying the Tunderbird. It was a landyacht and a somewhat cantankerous mount for the icy winding path into Rockvale.
My mission, ostensibly a delivery for the outgoods import company at which I was employed as a bit of this and a bit of that. In actuality it had been arranged by a local agent within customs.
I was...
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Today my story was dismissed as unbelievable…
…and I guess if I were to look it from the outside may be tempted to feel the same way. Except, I’m not on the outside, I’m on the inside, looking out, screaming at the top of my lungs to cold world which does everything to invalidate, kind of like Gattaca but more transparent and alienating somehow.
Expatiating was the word of the day on the calendar beside the computer I was repairing this...
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Are you not even curious about your own lack of...
Shouldn’t you be curious about something called “D.I.Y. Saber” that offers to provide you a everything which is required to build a functional Lightsaber?
What proof do you need?
Can we see yours, you perhaps may be induced to ask
To which I would reply “no”
To which one may retort, “how so can we believe it to be, when we cannot see it so?”
To which, I say this; “Tis unvisible to ye because...
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The Saga Continues!
> It sounds like a very deep work of mystical philosophy with a complex plot line. > Offhand, I am trying to envision a disgruntled Zen repairman. It’s hard. I> associate Zen with tranquility not disgruntlement. So there is an immediate >problem concerning the believability of the character. — E. >
LOL! Thank you for your honesty!
A disgruntled repairman searching...
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Bullshit!
How do we know that this is not ______ attempting to provoke civil unrest?
How do we know that _____ is not spying on our IPs?
How d o we know that _____ is not waiting to arrest us for speaking our minds after we have been led into a trap?
Reductio ad Communicado
Everything is reducible to communication, the reasons that we live, the reasons that we die as the living embodiment of our...
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A response, yet the world still does not...
Highly ironic given that this is the exact point which I am trying to get across. What force interferes with my words? Do I make some mistake or misstep with how I present myself?
I try to imagine how the world sees the other side of my words and imagine they are perhaps like a blur or the shadow of heat crinkling and distorting the message.
333 posts and less than 10 shares! Today I am...
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An actual reply!
>Hi Dylon, >Thank you for your query. I read it over several times and while I sense that you >are communicating about a book of fiction, it is not clear to me what you are >proposing. >Best! >Eddie
Hey Eddie,
Thanks for getting back to me!
What I am proposing is the story of me, the disgruntled Zen repairman, trying to find a market for my fiction against the impossible...
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Now Accepting Offers... (pardon my verbosity, some...
Dear Eddie,
Pardon the delay in writing to you, my mind runs so fast these days that it is often hard to slow down. I am hoping that this does not leave you with the impression that I am inclined to treat deadlines as would Douglas Adams who once said something like “I love deadlines! I especially love the sound they make as they go whizzing by.” As I have never missed a deadline in my decade...
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The truly amazing thing today is how easy it is to...
(Best contemplated to “St. Andrews” by Bedouin Soundclash)
It reminds me of the old joke about the two kids, the first says “Hey, you’ll never guess what! I found a condom on the verandah yesterday!”
The second kid replies “What’s a verandah?”
Or the infamous D&D Gazebo encounter. What happens? Nothing, it’s a gazebo!
And we’re not just talking regional colloquialisms like sitting on a...
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#30 - The Metafool
(Best read to “Paradise City” by Guns’n’Roses)
What if every dream we had was the identical in the aspect of being from a consensual virtually artificial reality game?
And the point of life was actually to find the “secret exit” we all have in our minds for a very special place and the “ultimate”grand prize?
But, because we do not train ourselves to dream or take care of...
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The Epitome of “Oh Pity Me!”
(Update: best contemplated to “Take me to the Hospital” by The Prodigy.)
One must believe in themselves first, then, no matter what they are doing, they can always answer themselves if it comes into question and if necessary walk away in favour of self-preservation. When one believes that they are fighting for something else they can easily become disillusion when that idea, ideal or...
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If a chain is only as strong as its weakest link...
Who are they? Who is the mysterious force that we fight against; us in our own ignorance.
Chicken jokes take on a new depth of meaning when considered in relation to a condition called “Henology” by which one continually inseminates themselves with ideas. In this state it is impossible to achieve Zen because pre-charge memory chains makes sure that one is in a continual state of inception, that...
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Bacon; the first completely pick’n’choose modular...
(Best pondered whilst listening to “In Our Nature” by José González.)
When we listen to others we are hearing a stories from another realities. When those stories contain us, for whatever reason, we are hearing about the version of us that another person sees from their reality. This affords great clues as to how you are perceived and how others perceive. Under no circumstance should...
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Nothing in the omniverse is more precious than...
(Best read while listening to “Veteran of the Psychic Wars” by Blue Öyster Cult.)
This is the story of me trying to write a book to change the world, when I know that with every keystroke which strikes the electronic page of my word processor I am fundamentally lying contrary my nature as a free spirit.
I don’t think this planet collectively has enough fingers to count the number of...
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Reach Out and Touch Yourself.
The most destructive force in this cosmos is ignorance.
Especially of our own bodies, the vehicle of our individual journies through the thing called life.
How many have taken the time to familiarized themselves with every aspect of their body?
Try to touch every surface inside and outside your body with your eyes closed. Feel every curve, every texture, every bump, every dimple, every...
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Not The Kind of Pole Dancing One Would Expect
I walked up to my dad’s this afternoon to see if I could find some poles that would be suitable for turning into a display for my t-shirts at the farmers’ markets this summer.
My wife was out in the country visiting one of he friends and I decided that it would be a nice day to walk in the warm, breezy sun. The apartment is almost exactly a mile from his property as the roads twist and it takes...
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Soror Mystica I Search For You (Sorry, but the...
An Ocean without Shore
I marveled at an Ocean without shore, and at a Shore that did not have an ocean; And at a Morning Light without darkness, and at a Night that was without daybreak; And then a Sphere with no locality known to either fool or learned scholar; And at an azure Dome raised over the earth, circulating ‘round its center - Compulsion; And at a rich Earth without...
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It’s All About the Death Star, Isn’t It?
I know that I’m risking my reputation here, but it’s ok, I don’t mind going out on a limb for sake and stake in true speculative fiction.
Not that I don’t think that I’ll be a famous writer someday, I’m sure of it in fact (affirmation). It’s just that I’d rather work with real storytellers like Richard Linklater and Zach Snyder. As opposed to those who have lost their way in the valley of CGI...
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Rush, Rush Baby
Like fellow Canuckians Rush, I believe that fate is just the weight of circumstances and that we all need to get a little closer to the heart. I also hope that you don’t write off my mean, mean pride as arrogant as I reserve a quiet defense against the world’s histrionics.
I also want you to understand that I’m asking for your support in the form of shares, donations, merch and feedback not out...
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Special thanks...
…BTW to Ann Archy of Angerdump.com for modeling all my Tie Undying!
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“Enlightenment is like the moon reflected on the water.
The moon does not get...”
– Dogen (via peaceloveenlightenment) No action need necessarily be dicated by any action, reaction or lack there of.
The fact is that most are already enlightened, yet resent the fact due to vivid disempowerment.
Oliver Agony on Practical Enlightenment and Personal Empowerment
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Fans Unite!
Here’s another chance for you, yes you, my fans, to decide my career fate!
One of my many side-businesses since ’98 has been website design. Something I have tried to shy away from since the invention of the acronym SEO and all the particular vagaries that go into creating websites for clients who have no care in marketing their product and then blame the designer when things don’t go as they...
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The Brown Lemon-aid Test
So, interestingly enough it was the same technical editor whom helped with “The Art of Chainmail” that would go on to spark my career aspirations in comedy.
It was about a year and a half ago, 6 months or so in to my real bid to transition my career from DIY to speculative fiction that I decided to get back in touch with her. Having recognized the inherent issue with trying to edit my...
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The Bacon's Tale
Sometimes I get the distinct feeling that there’s a lot of fans out there who are quite confused about my choice to focus more on speculative fiction as opposed to the DIY books on chain jewelry and armour construction that I am perhaps best known for.
So I thought it might be elucidating to tell “the untold story” of “The Art of Chainmail: Volume I” which is now available as a free download in...
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Will Diablo 3 Blow?
Interestingly today is a day which I looked forward to for more than a decade and now that it is actually here, I don’t think I could care less.
Back in 2001 I was married to my first wife and was doing many of the same things I do today, except on older computators with less malware and more real viruses.
It was my birthday that year and I was bummed, nobody remembered, no presents, no cake, no...
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What Are You Doing to Preserve the Future?
Dear George,
I know I have ragged on you in the past (see Twitter) but like Walter Cronkite said:
“To say that we are closer to victory today is to believe, in the face of the evidence, the optimists who have been wrong in the past. To suggest we are on the edge of defeat is to yield to unreasonable pessimism. To say that we are mired in stalemate seems the only realistic, yet unsatisfactory,...
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Autism, Pareidolia, OCD, ADD, ADHD, Migraines,...
Are these are nothing but convenient labels by which we are meant to feel “bad” about the emerging clarity of neo-modern society?
Is this why memory is what you know, not what you see and why many loners are specifically meant to feel ostracized by the greater social structure?
Does intelligence threaten that structure? Have we have simply become too lucidly aware for pedantic rules which only...
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